Close

A Letter To The Fatherless On Father’s Day

For more great blogs visit Motherless Daughters!

Although it was my 48-year-old mother who I lost just two years ago when I was 24, I felt compelled to write a letter to the “fatherless” on Father’s Day just as I did with my letter to the motherless on Mother’s Day. I believe that the loss of a parent is one of the hardest things to endure, even more so when you lose your parent early in life. Fathers sometimes get overlooked and I believe that both parents, mother and father, each play different roles in our lives. Though some may say there is no bond in this world as strong as there is between a mother and her child, I believe a father’s love means just as much to most of us.
Today, Father’s Day, will just be another painful reminder that your dad is no longer here. As much as you want this day to just be over, it really is the perfect day for you to honor his life. Don’t think about things to come that he will miss, instead think about all he has seen in the time you had him with you. Remember back to when you were younger and you looked up to him. Remember when you thought there was no better man in this world than him? Well, there still isn’t. Your father will never leave your side as long as you keep him in your heart, where he will forever stay. He did not want to leave you, he never wanted to leave you for he needed you just as much as you needed him. Today, he does not want to see you sad, for he would want nothing more than to see you smile, see you live, see you succeed.

I have come to find that the best way to heal is to remember. Remember him. Remember the pain of losing him, remember the love you both shared, remember everything. Talk to him, he’s always listening. And more than anything be grateful that you had a wonderful man in your life that you were able to call Dad.
Today, if you feel sorrowful, look into your heart and find peace in all the love he left behind.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the “fatherless” out there. Today is your day too. Celebrate him, remember him, honor him, and most of all smile for him.

Purchase my NEW book Life Still Goes On

createspace-banner

Purchase my book “Life Goes On..?” here

51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

This true story was written with the intent to inspire many. To those who are fighting the fight, keep on fighting. To those who have experienced tremendous loss, we must remember that even through the darkest of days, life does in fact go on.

13 Things I Miss The Most About My Mom

It’s been 4 years since my 48 year old mother passed away. I will never fully comprehend the fact that she is not coming back, and I will never fully understand how I have survived this long without her.

This beast they call cancer, which took my mother, is the same beast that has torn my family apart, the same beast that has changed my entire world and turned my life upside down.

Grief has taken so much from me. It has drained me mentally and emotionally but I have managed a way to smile through the sadness, laugh through the heartache, and I have found a way to live creatively with my bruised and broken heart.

As I slowly get back into what I call my new life or “my new normal”, I can’t help but miss all the things about my mom that I once considered little things.

 

Here are the 13 things I miss the most about my mom.

I miss her laugh. My mom was always laughing about something, but there are moments I remember, little inside jokes between her and I, and when I think of them I can hear her uncontrollable laugh. I would give anything to have one last laugh with her.

 

I miss her spaghetti and meat balls, I miss her homemade chicken soup, and I miss her telling me I eat way too fast. My mom made the best spaghetti and meatballs.  Even after having chemotherapy she would be sure to have that homemade meal on the table for us all every Sunday. She would always tell me that I eat way to fast and if I didn’t slow down I would choke. I always got a kick out of her saying that.

 

I miss her calling me way too much. I don’t think a day went by that I didn’t talk to my mom at least 5 times a day. Sometimes she would call a little too much, but it’s funny how one day when the phone stops ringing, you’d give up your whole life to hear it ring again.

 

I miss how much she worried about me. I was 24 when my mom passed away. She worried about me every second of every day. And I am certain that no matter what my age she would of continued to carry that same worry.

 

 

I miss her hand on my forehead when I said I wasn’t feeling well.  The minute I would say I didn’t feel well my mom would take the back of her hand and place it on my forehead to check if I had a fever. I miss her touch and I miss the way she took care of me.

I miss playing “name that tune” when we were in the car together. We would put the radio on scan and let it go, the first one to scream out the correct song and artist would get a point. We both loved music and loved that game.

 

I miss her missing me. When I moved out on my own she would always try to get me to come over even if she had to bribe me, she always wanted me and my sister at her house and nothing made her happier than our family all together.

 

I miss her raspy voice. Just like mine. I have one voicemail with her voice on it and as hard as it is for me to listen to I sometimes force myself to simply because I don’t ever want to forget the sound of her voice.

 

I miss her horrible spelling and grammar. She was the worst with spelling and grammar but it was so incredibly cute. She would always post positive things on Facebook (which so many people loved) half of the time the spelling was way off but the message of positivity was so clear and I loved that.

 

I miss her passion for the people she loved. All my mom ever wanted in life was to spend as much time with her family and close friends as possible. She was so simple. Cancer robbed her from it all but the love she has for all of us was enough for a lifetime.

 

I miss her beautiful photography.  She took some beautiful photos as she was in the stages of learning photography. It breaks my heart that she didn’t get to continue on her dream.

 

I miss taking her to chemotherapy. Never in a million years did I think I would hear myself say that. I never wanted to have to take my beautiful, young, full-of-life mom to chemo. But the day came when I had to and it became a routine every 3rd Friday we would go together and sit there for 4+ hours. She made friends in there, she made people laugh in there and I would give up every day for the rest of my life to be able to sit there with her again.

 

I miss her love. I am surrounded by people every day, people who love and care about me more than I think, but no body, and  I mean nobody will ever love me the way my mom did and that void of missing her will never, ever be filled.

Purchase my NEW book here!

createspace-banner

Purchase my first book here!

51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

500 Words To Those Celebrating Mother’s Day Without Their Mom

It sucks. It is sad, it is lonely, it is heart breaking, it is life changing, it is painful, it is tragic, it is pathetic, it is devastating, it is depressing…it is just so damn bad. You feel as if your life will never go on. There is a void that can never be filled because there is no other love in this world like the love of a mother. There is so much that she has missed and will miss.  It rips you up and tears you down. You feel empty, you feel lost. It leaves a huge gaping hole in your heart that will never, ever heal. It messes with your mind. It brings anger into your heart, anger than you know your mother wouldn’t want you to feel, but you feel it anyway. You’ll miss her, probably more than you’ll ever miss anybody in this entire world. It’s a roller-coaster of emotions. One minute you’ll be at peace with her death the next you’ll feel the heart wrenching feeling that she is never coming back.  Hearing her name will pull at you, it will leave you feeling unsettled, especially when you know that she is missing extreme milestones in your life. It is dark, it is upsetting, it is miserable. There’s regret, there’s guilt, and there is an extreme feeling of loss that could never, EVER, EVER, be replaced. But when you think of her, as a person rather than a lost loved one, and all of the moments the two of you have shared together, each and every lovely memory will flood through your mind.  Think of her before she died, the love she had for you will always outweigh her death. She didn’t leave you because she wanted to, she left because there were other plans for her, and she was greater than this world.  When you think of your mother, you feel happiness, you feel content, you feel loved, you feel overwhelmed, you feel enamored, you feel comfort, you feel lifted, you feel blessed, you feel honored, you feel inspired, you feel hopeful, you feel strong, you feel brave, you feel encouraged, you feel like you again. And when you finally realize that life continues on, you realize you are here to live it, and live it for her. You remember the kind of life she wanted for you, and that’s a happy life. You feel her in the wind and you see her in the stars, she visits you in your dreams and she guards you with all of her heart. But most importantly, when you think of your mother, remember that she is constantly guiding you and sending you love when you need it the most. You will feel refreshed, you will feel her hug, you will feel her heart and that is when you will feel brand new. And each and everyday you will realize that you have all of these feelings because you were lucky enough to call her your mother.

createspace-banner51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the “Motherless” out there. I hope your day is as bearable as it can be and please remember that you are never alone. Together we heal.


Purchase my NEW book here

createspace-banner

Purchase my book Life Goes On..? Here

The true story of a mother’s undying love through her battle with cancer, treasures left behind after she is gone, and the realization that even through the darkest of days, life goes on..

51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

For more great blogs like Motherless Daughters on Facebook!

Read This If Mother’s Day Is Hard For You

Written By: Colleen George

Usually on Mother’s Day I scroll through my Facebook and Instagram reels, flooded with photo after photo of my friends smiling brightly back at me with their moms. The little captions catch my eye; “my ride or die” “‘my number one,” “my best friend”…with plenty of variations. Sometimes I find myself reading through the longer more meaningful captions and find myself wondering what I would say to my mom this year if she were here for Mother’s Day.

Sometimes I look through these photos and I truly don’t mind so much. They don’t phase me.  I can skim through them all without really feeling anything special. I “like” a few of my friends’ posts, then move on with my day, a little unsettled, a little down, but still okay overall. But in the past few years I’ve noticed that I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy eating at me when I realize how lucky my friends are. I can’t help but envy the mother daughter photos that flood my news-feed.

createspace-banner51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

 

 

 

 

 

I took out pictures of my mom today and felt an overwhelming sense of sadness mixed with anxiety. My heart sunk when I looked at pictures of my mom and me and realized that the most recent photo was six years old. Of course I knew this was the case, but letting it sink in and actually coming to terms with it was difficult. There are no pictures of us now. There are no photos of us at my college graduation, or of us at our family trip to the shore. There are no pictures of my mom meeting my new puppy. There are no new pictures of my parents, or of my mom and my sister. There are no new photos of us for me to share on Mother’s Day.

It’s hard because Mother’s Day throws this lack of photos in my face, with sales on flowers to target ads covered in Mother’s Day specials. It’s hard to escape from Mother’s Day. And I know I’m not alone in feeling like this. Maybe this year is hard for you too. Maybe you are also missing your mom. Or maybe you are missing the idea of Mother’s day; the idea of having someone to celebrate. You might be missing the idea of buying tulips from the grocery store or of picking up a sweet card for your mom. You might be missing the idea of having a family brunch or of sharing a warm cinnamon bun with your mom today.

 I’m sorry if you are feeling like this too. I’m sorry if Mother’s Day isn’t what it used to be for you, or if it’s always been hard for you. It looks like we both missed out on the VIP passes to this members-only holiday. It’s hard when everyone around you gets to celebrate on the inside, and you are here, stuck on the sidelines, looking in.

Mother’s Day is hard; there’s no way around it. And it comes every single year. I don’t know what you do to get through Mother’s Day (or, let’s face it, Mother’s Day week). I know that I sometimes purposefully try not to let Mother’s Day bother me. I try to avoid it, by putting up an invisible shield, putting on a fake smile, and pretending the day doesn’t exist for me. But I’ve learned the hard way that this doesn’t really help – it just masks over the real feelings.

The thing is, you see, even if you try to force yourself to avoid thinking about Mother’s Day altogether, by simply numbing your feelings or blocking it all out, it still doesn’t make it easy. Ignoring Mother’s Day doesn’t just make the day, or your feelings, disappear. No matter how you get through it, coping in itself takes energy and it takes strength. It inevitably wears you out after a while, even if you think you’re doing just fine. So it’s important to remember that you don’t have to pretend that Mother’s Day is easy. You don’t have to act all “brave,” or act like you don’t have feelings.

While I’m most definitely not going to sit here and advise you to just try not to think about it, or to try to power through, I’m also not going to suggest that you “force” yourself to feel thankful on Mother’s Day. I’m not going to suggest that you force yourself to feel anything, for that matter. Some of you might feel at peace on Mother’s Day. Some of you might feel thankful for your mothers, whether they are present or absent. And for those of you that this applies to, I’m happy that you can feel grateful on this day. It’s a blessing, and it’s important for you to feel this way because it is authentic.

But if you’re not feeling so grateful? Don’t judge yourself. It is more than okay to not feel good. It’s also okay to not feel thankful. It’s more than okay to feel sad or even bitter. It’s also okay to not feel sad at all. You don’t need to judge yourself for what you are feeling. Forcing away a feeling, or trying to make yourself feel a certain way is only harder because it lacks authenticity. Faking it just breaks you. It only makes the harder.  You have to listen to yourself. That’s the main rule of making it through Mother’s day; you have to have your own back.

I don’t know if I truly feel grateful on Mother’s Day. But this isn’t because I’m not thankful for my mom. Of course I’m thankful for her. She was a hell of a mom. But feeling thankful for her and “celebrating” her is just harder for me to experience on this specific day when her absence is highlighted.

What I do feel is discomfort and sadness. I feel upset that I can’t celebrate her in the real, alive sort of way. It feels like the fact that I am “motherless” is being thrown in my face, so this takes over me feeling grateful. Of course I loved and love my mom. But Mother’s Day isn’t the day I can fully understand this.

So remember. If it is too hard for you to find peace today, I understand. You don’t have to try to make peace with Mother’s Day. You don’t have to do anything festive on Mother’s Day. What you do need to do is be judgment free and take it easy. It’s a hard day. And remember that whatever you feel or do not feel doesn’t make you any more or less of a person. I’m not going to tell you to have a good day or a bad day or any type of day. You can see what feels right this year. So from me to you, just have a day. And please, allow yourself to simply “be.”

Purchase my NEW book Life Still Goes On

createspace-banner

Purchase my book Life Goes On..? Here

The true story of a mother’s undying love through her battle with cancer, treasures left behind after she is gone, and the realization that even through the darkest of days, life goes on..

For more great blogs visit Motherless Daughters!

Read This When You Miss Your Mom

“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.” 

Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Losing a mother is one of the most devastating things in the world.  It happens and we somehow find the strength to go on.  The days turn into weeks, the weeks turn into months, and before we know it here we are years later, wondering how we have made it this far without them physically in our lives.  I’d like to think that when someone we love dies their body goes but their love remains.  They live on through us.  Through the things they left behind and the memories they have made.

You’ll always miss your mom but there are moments in life when you just miss her a little more than usual. You’ll miss her when you’re simply in the store shopping and you see other women shopping with their mothers.  You’ll miss her when you can’t remember that recipe she begged you to learn.  You’ll miss her when someone else loses their mom.  You’ll miss her when something great happens and she is the first person you want to call but you know if you tried, it wouldn’t be her voice on the other end.  You’ll miss her on Mother’s Day when everyone else is celebrating their mothers and you feel all alone. You’ll miss her when you’ve had a bad day and you know that her embrace is the only one that can save you.  You’ll miss her when you meet someone who reminds you or her, or has the same laugh as her, or was just as kind as her.  You’ll miss her when you’re all alone in bed crying yourself to sleep because the thought of her being gone still comes as a shock to you. You’ll miss her when you need her advice.  You’ll miss her when you no longer get to talk to her five times a day.  You’ll miss her when you hear her favorite song.  You’ll miss her when you see older women who were lucky enough to live their life that long and you’ll wonder why you mom wasn’t able to.  You’ll miss her on the holidays and you’ll miss her on her birthday when you realize that another year has passed. You’ll miss her when you wonder what she would look like years later.  You’ll miss her when you go through a horrible break up and know her words are the only ones that could ever help. You’ll miss her when you’re staring at the beautiful summer sky wondering where she is but when you miss you mom remember how much she loved you, remember that she never wanted to leave you and there is nothing in this world that she wouldn’t have done to be able to see you live out your life.  When you miss your mom, go that extra step to make her proud, live the life she wanted you to live, be the person she wanted you to be.  When you miss your mom do something to honor her, something that can bring you joy.  When you miss your mom remember the way it felt to be around her, the way she hugged you, and the way she would have done anything in the world for you.

But most importantly, when you miss your mom know that it is okay to miss somebody that much, that’s what unconditional love is and that’s what she has given you.

                Check out my new book!                   createspace-banner

       Purchase my first book Life Goes On..?

51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

https://www.facebook.com/Motherless-Daughters-153858391294874/

8 Lessons I Learned After Losing My Mother

For more great blogs visit Motherless Daughters!

My mother was just 48 when I lost her. I was 24. In a way we knew that it was coming. She had stage four lung cancer and it was only a matter of time until I would have to face the heart breaking reality of losing her at a young age. I realized she would not be there to ever see me or my sister get married nor would she ever get the opportunity to be a grandmother. She wouldn’t be around to celebrate 30 years of marriage with my father and she wouldn’t be there to help me through the troubles most 24 year olds have along the way. I think of her every single day, she is the first thought on my mind the minute I wake up and she is the last thought before I lay my head down to go to sleep.

Through the heart break, change, and devastation I have learned some key points that will help me along with several others on the healing journey.

1. Nothing lasts forever.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness always comes light and you get reminded of this each and every morning. Bad times make good times better. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad, So we all might as well smile while we are still here.

2. Love is stronger than death.

My relationship with my mom continues on each and every day and will for the rest of my life. I see pieces of her in myself every time I look in the mirror. She lives on through me. When I hear mine and my moms song “Some Kind of Wonderful” by Grand Funk Railroad I feel as if we are together. Physical planes cannot separate love and i know this to be true.

3. It will forever be a part of who I am.

I’ve met many people after losing my mom. It’s almost as if I want to introduce myself as “Hi, I’m Jenna, I’m only 25 years old, I’m a motherless daughter and I lost my mom to lung cancer.” The question “So tell me about your parents?” is like nails on a chalk board. Those who truly know me and knew my mom know pretty much every heart breaking detail of the pain I’ve endured after losing her, but for those who I’ve recently met or have yet to meet have no idea. Losing my mom has reshaped who I am, how i see the world, and has changed my life forever.

4. Memories are gold. (Seriously. Cherish them.)

Oh the memories, they flood through my mind all the time. The good memories are more so from before she was diagnosed with cancer. But I will literally NEVER forget the last few days of her life. We shared laughs, cries, and all different types of emotions but the memory I will be forever grateful for occurred just minutes before she died. I knew something was wrong, she was rushed to the Medical ICU where her heart rate was sky high and her blood pressure was dangerously low. My heart was beating out of my chest, I grabbed her hand looked her right in the eyes and my last words to her were “I love you so much”. She looked at me, squeezed my hand and she didn’t have to say a word, I knew how much she loved me. In that moment i realized that I have received more love from her in my 24 years with her than most receive in a life time.

Click here to purchase my NEW book Life Still Goes On

createspace-banner

5. Some things will just always be out my control.

Watching someone you love suffer is one of the worst experiences you can imagine. All you can do is stick by their side, hold their hand, and try to make them smile through the pain. It’s a huge sense of helplessness and you want to take on the pain for them but some things will forever be out of your control. I fought endlessly to try to save my moms life and I just couldn’t, there was nothing more I could do but let her know how loved she was.

6. Music heals.

I personally love music, I love songs with deep meanings. One song that makes me smile when I am feeling down is “Footprints in the Sand” by Leona Lewis. Whenever I hear it, it reminds me that my mom will be right next to me for the rest of my life, not physically but I know her spirit will continue to follow me.

“Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.” – Elton John

7. Life is for the living, So live it.

After a tremendous loss I’ve heard of many people losing themselves or getting caught up in the bad rather than the good. I often find myself doing certain things and I think how unfair it is that my mom isn’t here to enjoy the little pleasure that life brings. I also look at it as more a reason to go out and live. I do the things she loved to do, I do the things I love to do, more so now than ever. Life is just too damn short.

8. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

After my mom passed away I felt a strong urge to share her story with anyone who would listen. I even went as far as writing and publishing a book. I figured if I could make it though the worst time of my life than i could help others do the same. I’ve had random messages online from people telling me how inspiring my mothers story is, I’ve had strangers come up to me and tell me I’ve helped them through a loss and this is the most rewarding of it all. Through my book I hope to continue to inspire many more.

Click here to purchase my NEW book Life Still Goes On

createspace-banner

Purchase my book “Life Goes On..?” here

51-xceon1bl-_sx311_bo1204203200_

“The true story of a mother’s undying love through her battle with cancer, treasures left behind after she is gone, and the realization that even through the darkest of days, life still goes on..”

For more great blogs check out Motherless daughters on Facebook!

Another “Motherless” Mother’s Day

For more great blogs visit Motherless Daughters!

Isn’t it strange how fast time flies?  Isn’t it even more strange how fast time flies when the person we loved the most in this world is no longer here with us?

I can remember it as if it were yesterday, May 12th, 2013- only a few short weeks before my 48 year old mother lost her ten month battle with stage four lung cancer.  I remember the exact feelings from that Mother’s Day.  The feeling of being outside, the weather was getting warmer and the sun was shining.  I recall looking at my mom and thinking to myself “This may be the last mother’s day I get with her”….and it was.  Now here I am almost four years later, another “Motherless” Mother’s Day is approaching and I can’t help but wonder just how different my life would be if she were still physically here with me.  Would I appreciate all of the things I have or was it her death that taught me how to do that?  My mom was so full of life, as I am sure you mother was as well. Death is not fair, it never is.  When I hear people say “Well she is in a better place now.” Or “It was her time to go.” I can’t hold back the sadness I feel. Maybe she is in a better place than she was when she was suffering through the cancer but the only place she truly ever wanted to be was by her family’s side. It angers me when I look back and realize what she has missed.  There are times when I can’t even remember the sound of her voice but I can never seem to bring myself to listen to that last voicemail she had left me.   How can four years make you forget the sound of somebody’s voice who was such a big part of your life?  You wake up one day and you start to forget all of the things and feelings you swore you would always remember. I wanted the world to stop when my mother died but life goes on and it goes too fast.  I miss my mother now more than ever, as I grow older she stays forever young.

So as I approach my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom I will still continue to do what I’ve done every single Mother’s Day.  I will celebrate the beautiful life that was cut way too short.  I will not sit around and feel sorry for myself, I will feel proud that I was able to have 24 wonderful years with one of the most amazing people I have ever met, My mother.  And as other’s celebrate with their mother I will celebrate my mother, I will honor her, I will remember her, I will send her a little balloon to heaven, and I will make sure that her life is never, ever forgotten.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mother’s in heaven and Happy Mother’s Day to all of the “Motherless” out there, I want you to know that you are never alone.

Purchase my NEW book Life Still Goes On

createspace-banner

Purchase Life Goes On..?

51-xceON1BL._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

For more great blogs visit Motherless Daughters!

Back to top